So, let me start this story by telling you about the worst thing that continues to plague this world. It has been around for as long as there has been plants to take part in their ever-perpetuating dance of procreation. 200 years ago, we did not know of any such thing as the dreaded hay fever, not to say that people didn’t suffer from its curse, but in fact it just wasn’t recognised by the medical community.  John Bostock is the man you need to remember every time you scratch your eyes; every time you sneeze uncontrollably and every time you swell up beyond recognition. Some called it a case of periodic infection of the eyes and chest, some even went as far as calling it a rather delicate case of allergic rhinitis. All I know, is one thing is clear, this all resonates from within the devil seed; a seed we give the name, pollen.

Remember our man John, well he is back now, and we are going to talk about him for a while. If this bores you then you are probably one of the few people in the world that don’t suffer from allergies and I wish good day to you, I said good day! If you are still reading this then you will want to know Johnny, born 1773, presented his findings on this affliction in 1819. He, himself, was actually suffering from this dreaded seasonal plague, and through his own sufferings since the ripe age of 8, he was driven enough to pursue this venture knowing there was more. He figured there was something more to this than a simple flu. Something that neither opium, purging, topical bleeding nor course of mercury could fix (and yes you did read that correctly) he actually attempted to alleviate the symptoms using all these methods, that’s how bad it was for him. Through his agonising research, he found out that the only remedy was to stay indoors for the entirety of summer: in this generation that is simply unacceptable.

Ol’ Jimbo wasn’t actually responsible for its name though.  Believe it or not, ‘Hay fever’ is a misnomer. Anyone else bothered by the fact it is two words and not just one. Technically, there should be a slight pause between the words, but nobody actually pronounces it this way. Just me, I guess. However, the term ‘Hay fever’ actually comes from a 19^th century popular idea that the body was irritated by the smell of Hay. Bostock wrote about this idea, but he never believed it to be true and it was actually found out 30 years later that our devil seed, pollen, was the culprit. Although, for some reason ‘pollen-fever’ never caught on even being more technically accurate. Makes you wonder doesn’t it?

It’s not all doom and gloom though, for all my dear fellow patrons of the pollen society, you are much more worthy of praise than you think. After what I am about to share with you, you better hold your head high and say it with your chest; you are a person of noble genetics. For in the 19^th century, hay fever was known as none other than the “aristocratic disease”. By the 1860’s the affliction was getting a lot of traction in the medical community and was becoming more widely accepted, however, it was almost exclusively associated with the most elite of society. Most patients that were coming forth with hay fever were doctors and members of clergy. The disease itself was almost wholly confined to the upper class of society, now this was probably due to poor people with hay fever not actually having the luxury of being able to see a doctor, or in fact being plagued with something far worse making sneezing seem like a pleasant notion. Nevertheless, by god we are the elite people. Hold your red noses high, let out a few sniffles and be proud that the sheer thought of plants having sex causes you to have such an adverse reaction.

Due to this popular belief that there is some sort of link to the upper class, many people started to view hay fever as almost a ‘badge of honour’ by the end of the 19^th century. It was so popular in fact, that the affliction was considered fashionable, even desirable, especially in the elite circles. Growing reports of hay fever even led to the creation of cult-like societies in the US, most notable was the United States Hay Fever Association, founded 1874 in the mountains of New Hampshire. This society acted as a health retreat for a few, a hay fever holiday resort if you will. This haven offered their members a peaceful refuge from the irksome summer pollen.

Overall, our good boy Johnson B-Stock, the absolute unit of man. He was the source of our very profound knowledge that I share with you today, that, not only are you unlucky during the summer months, but you are of noble heritage. You my dear reader, have more within you than the plants or the pharmacist would lead you to believe. You are special, and your swelling is only a sign of a higher power at work. Breathe, sneeze, and say I am a Queen.