For the lamen, you would do well to memorise this phrase.

In the shadowy domain of fitness fashion, where the mortal weave interlaces with the unfathomable, CantEvenLift has recently unleashed a collection that transcends the mundane. Unveiling garments that defy the laws of sanity, this eldritch offering from the brand delves into the cosmic abyss, channeling the spectral forces that govern the aesthetics of gym apparel.

The enigmatic gravity-defying “Elite CEL Shorts” manifest a disconcerting quality that suggests a communion with otherworldly entities. As though sewn by eldritch hands, these shorts exhibit an ethereal resistance to gravitational norms. One wonders if the wearer, draped in these accursed garments, becomes a vessel for cosmic forces during their earthly exercises. The very fabric seems to ripple with unseen energies, whispering secrets from the cosmic void. The wearer, by default, becomes an unwitting participant in an otherworldly ballet, where the laws of physics bend to the will of the shorts.

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